it always take more courage to take a step back then to take one forward .....keep that in mind people

wow that's all i can say New Years is tonight a whole year has went by before my very eyes.
what will be my Resolution for this new year i really don't know i feel as though this will be a big turning point in my life ; like what ever i deiced to try to do this year will stay with me forever it's going to be my shadow always staying by me.

i been thinking about it a lot , i been thinking about a lot of things over the break some things that scare me , and some that make me see life in a different way us humans we really don't know how to see things with out clouded eye and i don't think we ever will.....

and from this i have found my Resolution!

the way how i see thing is that we all have Fates set in stone from the day we were born let it be good or bad its still our fate and we cant change it or so they say......but forget that crap

that's not what i think i know if we work hard enough and give everything a hell of a lot of effort then we can make our own future and that's what I'm going to do ; i really do think different from most people

from the time the clock hits 12:00 am and it turns 2009 I'll take my step back and I'm going to do and see things like i did when i was a kid with open but closed eyes cause there's still time left it's not to late to make up for all the things we missed out on there still time

i look forward to living in the future of the past

clear eyes, mind, and heart I'm letting all my demons go you should do the same if you don't it will only lead to self hatred , doubt , and worse of all clouded eyes

oh man it so late lol well MERRY AFTER CHRISTMAS hope everybody got what they wanted
i can say with a smile on my face that it was a fun good day played game talked with friends and family and got to read some y@*i lol. Terry said im sick and i am too I a got a cold the day before Christmas felt bad too oh well win some loose some , and i had dreams of people dancing sexy dancing lol this is what sickness does to me peopel and it had old pople in it they were so cute , now this is what terry means by im sick XD


BUT TERRY IM ONLY SICK FOR YOU and you to carol ( she always run's away from me lol)

im about to go to school and a little while last day the let Christmas break stat YES!! last chance to let old feeeling out form this year cause next year there might not be a chance XD WISH ME LUCK i really need it MERRY CHRISTMAS <3

so long so gone the chirstmas break is coming i cant wait im going to sit back and get fat ; oh i cant wait to play the games go online and kick people butts oh yeah!!!

once something is gone you can never get it back again
that's what she thought as she look back on all the old time's
her bright beautiful days are all but gone as she sit here all alone
one by one they left her here to sit and cower in this oh so lonely fear
the loved one's that she cherished so much are all gone and turned to dust
but she does not shed a tear cause one is still here and as long as she has that one
she will never fear cause she knows one of her lights are still here

the child that has nothing to worry about
such a free spirit with a clear mind
so happy and free all the time
surrounded by the ones she love's
a heart so sweet and pure just like a dove
oh what a free child with such clouded eyes
would she ever believe that people die
no she wont not yet at least
so just let her sleep in that beautiful childhood peace

this weekend i learned how much my hearts is truly like glass
i lost a lot of things in my life
you wouldn't know it by looking at me
i have one thing left no one person
and that person got hurt , it's hard for them to feel the ground beneath them
as i saw her trying so hard to move while using this thing to help her
it scared me ; no it terrified me
the one person that can keep the glass from breaking is hurt for the first time and i cant do anything
i wish i could walk for her , take the pain away but
she says she'll be OK
XD

another peace of the glass shattered again

yo im trying to get this so bad but i have to clean my room AAHHHHHH!!! last tme i did i found somethings that i think at one point was food
terry was all like 'clean your room it's not that hard'
bs it's not hard and you know what she cleaned it a little one time , and was like wooo thats just wrong lol she silly yo

Rudolf the red nose reindeer had a very shiny nose and if you ever saw him you would even say it glows......lol
Merry day to you all , dude im going to put my Christmas list on here sweet right ok here it is
GAMES X-BOX
Infinite Undiscovery
Lost Odyssey
Eternal Sonata
Ninja Gaiden 2
Dead or Alive 4
Naruto: Rise of a Ninja
GAMES PS2
Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories
Okami

i know no need to tell me i have grate taste
yeah i had more down this but i dont want to spend all that much money i only should get what i need you know and im happy for that

my happiness is something no one can touch it's the purest happiness in the most disgusting warped way
yes i have the best poker face will anybody ever be able to read me i feel sorry if you do cause some of the thing i went through will brake you before it does me

is it me or do i have true bad luck no this is my fate in which i cant change i lost many thing and got a even more back.... for that i am truely greatful you will never know
i miss her a lot she would always know what to say, always
i lost yet another person it don't hurt though it feels more right then wrong in a way
anyway it's my first Christmas without her my minds doing that crazy crap thing again happens very time
im sad in the worst type of way
you know i don't smile cause i want to i smile cause i have to it's the only way to blind my self from the harsh truth
take some time and look through my eyes and you'll finally see why i never really cry
life is like a boat and im going to keep on riding it to see what happens at the end

just some random thoughts lol do not take this foreal

so guess what me and terry are going into story making WOOO!!! i cant wait we like already started to go over the plot of one. it's like super good i may put it on my blog depending on how I'm feeling. it was really fun just sitting there going over how people should act and how the chapter will be it was like just cool. me and the LEZ make a grate team thats why were best friends. so to all my fan from fan fic ill be back soon sorry for the long wait.

aww it so cute have you ever saw sasuke like this

<<<<<<<< ........... TOO CUTE!

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

With a calm gaze I will gradually sort out

The lights and shadows of this world[1]

Since that time Ive wanted to be like you

Pushing your way forward with slightly pursed lips[2]
In my dreams I have seen

A plain as wide as my eyes can see

Where lies will not blossom

Im waiting for you there
A story that will end emotionally

Began that day when you said I love you

I cant wait patiently for the start of the second half
Instead of endlessly doubting

I want to hear that dubious I love you

Until the end, always always
Words cannot be trusted completely

But when carried by voice, at least a little should certainly be conveyed

Lets ascertain together

The truth that will soon to be revealed

Even waking up to it brings no sadness[3]

Such a world is waiting for the two of us
I look back on the fleeing shadows along the road

The I love you I could not say that day

I cant catch up to it even with my last spurt
What should I do when I doubt even just a little?

Already a liar, but I love youI want to be by your side, always always
A story that will end emotionally

Began that day when you said I love you

I cant wait patiently for the start of the second half
I look back on the fleeing shadows along the road

The I love you you said that dayI cant help chasing after it, always always

this is not mine it's Utada Hikaru Uso Mitaina "I Love You"

the mask of happiness that i tryed so hard to put back on

is slowly falling and i don't know how to put it back on again ,

a one sided love that leaves me with nothing

but sorrow and fearful hope for tomorrow.